Ego vs Self Esteem… What’s the difference & why does it matter to developing happier and healthier relationships? In 2006, I was a newlywed and new working mother when I first learned about the difference between ego and self-esteem (& then applying the fruits of this discovery to my own life.) Upon reading the book Coming From Love by Dr. Dale Noelting, I began to understand how the ego controls your mind and how to differentiate between the fear-driven ego and love-driven self-esteem to foster happier and healthier relationships with those I love. Today on the blog & podcast, I’m sharing 3 important differences between ego vs self-esteem and how to harness the power of high self-esteem to promote happier and healthier relationships.
Ego vs Self-Esteem: 3 Differences to Know For Happier & Healthier Relationships
DIFFERENCE #1 The Ego Wants Everyone to Like You…
The ego wants everyone to like you, whereas high self esteem is being okay even when someone doesn’t like you. The main difference to note is the need for external validation versus fostering self-acceptance. You can be the juiciest peach in the world and there is still going to be someone who doesn’t like peaches. If you are at peace with who you are and make decisions from a place of high self-esteem and listening to your Inner Guide, you will better enable thriving relationships with those you love.
DIFFERENCE #2 The Ego Thinks It Knows It All…
The ego thinks it knows everything whereas self esteem is eager to continually learn and fully aware that you do not (& won’t ever) know everything. The more I learn throughout life then the less I realize I know. My mom has always liked to joke by calling me a “know-it-all” but I simply love to keep learning more and more… Self esteem is eager to learn new things from a place of genuine curiosity and growth rather than from a need to prove intelligence or self worth. The more you know, the more you realize you’ll never know it all - and with that realization comes a beautiful humility.
DIFFERENCE #3 The Ego Wants to Prove Itself…
The ego wants to prove itself and sets goals to drive forward towards earning that approval of being right by achieving those goals. Whereas self esteem comes from a place of simply wanting to express yourself, whether through setting goals or sharing knowledge. I find a sense of energy that builds up in me that leads me to simply want to share what I’ve learned about living a healthy and happy life with others. If I can connect and inspire just one person through my words and actions, then it all feels worth it to me. I think that having a genuine desire to share what you’ve learned with those around you creates a ripple effect of goodness and joy in the universe, and self esteem fuels this inherent desire to spread love and light.
If you find yourself in a place of sadness or darkness or you’re struggling with your relationships with loved ones, use these ego vs self esteem comparisons to allow you to take a step back, listen to your Inner Guide, & move forward with confidence towards and happier & healthier life. Remember that the ego fears what people say, compares, demands respect, and pretends to be strong… Whereas high self esteem comes from a place of vulnerability, openness, respect for others and yourself, and realizes you can learn from anyone. Tap into your Inner Guide and connect with your own thoughts & emotions this week and allow this new knowledge to guide you towards your next action in confidence.
xo, Lizzie
BOOKS TO CONSIDER READING: (simply click the link to learn more)
Listen to the Podcast BELOW:
Make sure to tune in to today’s podcast episode for a more in-depth look at shifting your mindset and managing stress in your daily life. *also available on your fav podcast platform — just search “Integrated Being”
xo, Lizzie
This week’s featured essential oil: Cypress
Get Cypress here plus a year membership and full access to a community of educators and supporters.
Promoting vitality and boosting energetic feelings, Cypress oil can be used for its aromatic and topical benefits. The chemical structure of Cypress oil also contributes to its renewing and uplifting fragrance. When used aromatically, Cypress oil produces a clean aroma that has both an invigorating and grounding effect on the emotions.
Searching for the energy to get up and run? Don’t sweat it, just apply Cypress oil to your feet and legs prior to a long run. The vitalizing sensation of Cypress oil on your skin will give you the motivational boost you need to endure and enjoy a long run.
Fill the air with the fresh scents of essential oils by making your own Cypress oil diffuser blend. Add Lime and Cypress oil in the diffuser of your choice for an invigorating scent. The soft, woody aroma of Cypress oil will work to renew and uplift the senses while the scent of Lime will help purify the air. This Cypress oil diffuser combination is perfect for diffusing in times of transition or when feeling a lack of energy.
Fill your home with the scent of fresh forest air by using Cypress oil in this diffuser blend. Add two drops of Cypress oil, three drops White Fir, and one drop Cedarwood for a refreshing, woody aroma. Cypress oil diffuser blends will help create an atmosphere reminiscent of a fresh evergreen forest that is perfect for any outdoor lover.
Give yourself a little piece of relaxation at the end of the day by using Cypress oil in a bath. For optimal results, add a half cup of Epsom salt and three drops of Cypress oil to a warm tub to help your body relax and revitalize after a stressful day.
When you are feeling stagnant, inhale Cypress oil directly from the bottle. Inhaling Cypress oil has many benefits and provides a grounding and stimulating effect on the emotions. Because Cypress oil contains a variety of monoterpenes, its aromatic compounds help to uplift and give you the added boost you may need.
~Doterra
Another great option to get started on your essential oil journey is to sign up for a mind & mood kit or start with these three great oils Cypress, Lavender, and Frankincense for a great ego kicker when needing the support.
As an author and certified life coach, I’m on a mission to empower you to embrace self-care in your physical, emotional, and spiritual life. I'm experienced in holistic health, time management, and the power of essential oils. Above all, my passion is finding ways to make people’s lives easier so they can enjoy the simple moments.
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